If sit down at the table to eat, I’m going to use a napkin. The only meal for which I don’t use napkins is when I eat lunch at work, which is only because I eat a sandwich and chips everyday, which even I can get through without a loss of dignity. Otherwise, if I […]

Beards that can be grasped by the hand are gross. Yes, I have a beard, but that’s how I know. I’m on the other side of the razor. Nobody knows the stubble I’ve seen So trust me: long beards are gross. They’re like nature’s petri dishes. The only way for junior high boys’ locker room […]